I have been feeling really tired lately. Tired and scared. This is the first time I know that I have to let go completely…and it is a scary thing. You know the feeling when you ask the Lord for something and He gives you a taste and you want to run away because you feel overwhelmed and just simply tired? That is how I feel right now (hahahahaha). I feel tired in my body and in my mind…but the powerful thing is, it is here that I am learning how to pray and trust in what God has to say.

I have never been much of a prayer warrior. I speak to God, but to pray or shoutfully (for lack of a better word) pray, has never been my thing; I like to hear back when I speak and not let it seem like I am shouting to myself or speaking to the air or shouting at my God…unless I am very desperate. But yea, I have never been much of a prayer warrior. Worship is very VERY much my thing. I love me some worship.

But for a while now, I have been leaning more and more on prayer. This post is not going to have any bible verses, just wanted to talk for a bit. Prayer is communication with God. I once heard Pastor T.D Jakes say there are three kinds of prayers; prayers where you are the only one talking, prayers where God is the only one speaking and prayers where you are both speaking and I have been really yearning for the last one…and finally, it has been happening more and more lately.

Why? because it is in my current state of weakness that I am leaning more on prayer. It is in my current state of tiredness and fear that I am learning how to pray and how to pray right. What I am starting to understand is that, people can tell you how to pray but it is the Word of God and the Spirit of God that teaches you how to pray. In my current state, I can do something silly, the Holy Spirit will rebuke me and later on I see myself either just simply praying for forgiveness or on my knees praying for forgiveness. In my current state, I constantly pray to God to never forsake me because it is here that I am finally learning how to simply lean on God and not on my own understanding. It is here that I am learning that I should stop pleasing man and only please God. Is it hard? Hahahahahaha, yes it is. But at the same time it is a very very beautiful feeling.

You know the saying, ‘I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future’, it is here that I am starting to not only say it, but believe it and act it out because I know it is true. It is at this point that I am learning to completely surrender…and for me, that is very hard (covers face). So this post was just for me to talk, but I hope this touches someone. There is a power in prayer, and not selfish prayer or prayer where you alone speak and not hear from God. There is a difference. There is power in sincere honest prayer where you are willing to always completely surrender to God or at least try. A bible verse just came to my head, but yea, no bible verses, hahahahahaha.

With that said I bid everyone a goodnight. I am going to pray and cover myself and my year and future with the blood of Jesus. I need to stop feeling tired and allowing it to affect me so (covers face). As always, kisses and hugs and remember, God loves you very much, don’t you ever forget that.

As a woman, what is your focus?

…It has been a stressful and at the same time, an exciting couple of weeks for me. All things considered, I thank God for everything. However…that little fear has crept in or always creeps in, ‘when are you going to get married?’ Now this isn’t a topic about marriage or a rant about it…or ok, maybe it is a little bit hahahahhaha, but it is something more important than the institution but in the same vein connected to it.


Now you see, no matter how strong or how grown we try to make ourselves as women, there is always that constant thought at the back of our minds, ‘when are we going to get married?’ It isn’t as serious for men, or they do not think about it as often, but we ladies, let’s be honest, we do think about it a lot. We might not vocalise it as much as the next girl, but we do think about it. I, fortunately or unfortunately, I tend to vocalise it…A LOT (hahahahahahaha), because it is one of the few things I do not understand and I always seek understanding in whatever I do, or at least I try to. But the topic, ‘marriage’…I just don’t get it.

However, one of those times when my mind was wandering of its own accord, it went across the deep blue ocean of marriage and in its middle was a small island, and what my mind stumbled upon was, ‘what is your focus?’ Now you see, in this question is another question, and although simple is quite frightening and it is, ‘if you are not going to get married, what would your world be?’ and the scary part of that question is, most women in my opinion, cannot answer that question.

Genesis 2:18 refers to the God’s first thought of the creation of a woman, it says, ‘then the LORD GOD said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Now there are two ways to look at this statement. One, as a woman, I am of such great importance and needed in man’s life that I had to be created. Two…what if it was actually good or what if it was better for man to have been alone, would I have been created? Because later on in Genesis 3:12 Adam says, “The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it,” implying that, Lord if you had just let me be, maybe I wouldn’t have sinned and you wouldn’t now be angry with me.

Which leads me back to the question, ‘as a woman, what is your focus?’ Genesis 3:16, one of God’s punishment for woman for eating of the forbidden fruit was that her ‘desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” This already tells you that no matter what, as a woman, you cannot escape the fact that you are always going to desire marriage. Now consider it two ways, meaning you will always desire a husband of your own, that is, your husband, or when you do get your husband, you will believe that you have achieved everything as your greatest desire has been met.

Even Isaiah 4:1 says, ‘for seven women will take hold of one man in that, saying, “we will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name; take away our reproach!” Now…by the time you read these verses, you will realise that these are punishments. Stay with me now, this is not the feminism in me talking I promise (hahahahaha) but think about it and read these verses properly. Your mother and family members placing a huge emphasis on marriage, your desire to get married by a certain age, the fact that you decide to settle especially if you are God – fearing and you know that deep down this is not what God has in store for you etc, when you read your bible, you begin to see that this was what was put on Eve after she sinned and was passed on from generation to generation to generation.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you shouldn’t want to get married. My simple question is or two questions rather are, ‘if you were not to get married, what would you do, what would be your world? And as a woman, what is your focus? Because it is very VERY easy to get lost in this desire. It is very easy to see happy couples everywhere you go and wonder, ‘Lord, when will it be my turn?’ But even as I thought about these questions and I began to feel sorry for myself, the Holy Spirit told me, ‘there are so many things to accomplish here on earth and so many people going through a lot of things, why do you choose to focus on that?’ And I felt bad because it is the truth. There are so many things you could do and so many things to be thankful for, why do you choose to focus on what you think it is the negative in your life? If you focused on something else…don’t you know that your life would be more fulfilled instead of focusing on the curse that was placed on us. John 8:35&36 says, ‘now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed,’ so if you have been set free, why do you allow your mind to be encumbered by the curse that belongs only to the world and not to a child of God? Again please please (hahahahaha) do not misunderstand me, this is not a feminism rant or anything similar…it is just sad when I see young women desiring marriage of which they are not ready for and instead of changing their focus they choose to remain under that curse.

Do I want to get married? But of course (hahahahaha). I wasn’t sure for a while, but now I am definitely sure that I do and I will…but for now, until that time comes, I choose to change or shift my focus onto something greater because whom the Son sets free, is surely free indeed. Now is this easy? No (hahahahaha), but believe me, I am getting there and it has been liberating.

As usual, I hope this ministers to someone, I apologise for not posting as often (hahahahahaha), but yea, life just takes over. As usual, take care and God bless (kisses and God loves you, never forget that).

You need to stop saying, ‘NO’


So…it is 21:02 GMT. I have suya as my study snack and I just got back from church service a few minutes ago. I am in my pjs and I am thinking, ‘how am I going to start studying my constitutional law this night, when all I want to do is sleep? (hahahahahaha) Yes, I have law exams in a week and I keep thinking at every turn, ‘Jesus take the wheel (hahahahaha).

Anyway 🙂 on a lighter note, church service today was awesome 🙂 :). the prayers were on point. Even though it was kinda sad 😦 because most of our predecessors had left and it was not as lively as it used to be. Anyway, those of us that were around were each given a task to do. I was told to lead worship and immediately I said, ‘No’. As soon as I said No, the Holy Spirit told me, ‘you need to stop saying No’ (covers face).

I grew up a very shy girl with little to no self-esteem (I could write a book about that). I was one of those people who could do it, but was too scared to do it because of what people would think of me, if they would like it, if I would make mistakes. What if I failed? These thoughts stunted my development as I wouldn’t or didn’t want to push myself. To top it all of, I can be stubborn (really Nhappily, hahahahahaha). So you see, even though I knew I had the talents or the abilities, I just didn’t want to be in the forefront or at the center of it. A part of me would think, ‘I am being humble’, but if I was serious with myself, I knew I was running away.

At the beginning of this year, one of my many prayers to God was for Him to use me. I don’t want to be a mediocre Christian, wife, friend or mum. I want to be different. I want to be set apart. I do not want to simply work a 9 to 5 job; I want to be more than that. I want to be extraordinary because I was created by an extraordinary God. But how can I show how God is amazing? How can I show and tell the World how truly extraordinary He is when I shy away from the simplest of tasks? How can I learn to be a follower and obey God’s instructions when at every point I say, ‘NO’ because I am scared, frightened, think I can’t do it, won’t do it, lack faith that God would take control or wonder what would people think of me when or if I do it or just plain stubborn?

As the Holy Spirit instructed me this evening to stop saying NO, a verse in the bible came to mind. Matthew 22:14, ‘many are called, but few are chosen’. This verse has a lot of meanings attached to it, in reference to the complete story of the Wedding Banquet and on its own. Dealing with it on its own, I thought about one of the things it tried to relay to us and it occurred to me that, how about if in our refusal to do the simple things because of our lack of faith or sheer stubbornness, we get overlooked or rejected or we lose the opportunity to do the big things because we are not ready, because we didn’t train or prepare? How about if in our refusal to develop ourselves with doing the small things and doing it well, we do not develop ourselves in order to handle the big things? How about if saying ‘NO’ shows a lack of faith and trust in God to handle it and let His glory and power be shown, instead of trying to handle it ourselves with our own might? How about if in our refusal, even though we are called, we might not be chosen because we lack the tenacity, obedience and courage to do the things of the Lord?

As the Holy Spirit told me I needed to stop saying ‘NO’, I realised at that moment I truly did (hahahahahhaha). If I want to grow to the level I want to be in the Lord, there was a lot of baggage, low self – confidence, fear, lack of courage etc, I need to get rid of so that I will not say NO to the tasks He has called me to do, through the Holy Spirit or my pastor or church leader because I think I am not capable or that I am doing it through my own might. And I am calling the reader of this to do that today as well. What do you think the Lord is calling you to do or asking of you that you keep saying NO to? What are those things that hinder and keep making you to say NO to the things He wants you to do? What is that responsibility your pastor or church leader wants you to take on that you keep running away from? We all need to learn to stop saying NO, and by His grace, as always, we won’t only be called but also be chosen 🙂

It is 21:54 GMT time and I think this is one of the shortest posts I have written, hahahhaha, what studying can do to you, sigh. Anyway, let me try and see if I can get some studying done this night or if I should just sleep and wake up early in the morning to study, sigh, who knows? 🙂 As usual, take care and do not forget (please don’t forget) God loves you soooooooo much. Hugs and kisses from me 🙂 🙂 🙂 oh yea, please keep me and my friends in your prayers for our upcoming exams, kisses ❤ ❤ 🙂

Wrestling With God

Hello everyone 🙂 ok so you know when you have a backlog of things to write about and you have already done some thumbnails for them but you haven’t yet created the time because of new things in your life? Yep that would be me (hahahahahaha). But two things before I get into what I really want to write about:

  • I have always been a writer. I remember growing up and my parents would upset me or I would be sad, then I would write everything down. It wasn’t a journal or anything. I. Just. Felt. The. Need. To. Write. Recently, I met a pastor with a couple of friends and he prophesied into my life about my writing and I thought to myself, ‘Wow Lord, so you actually watch the silliness I do? Hahahahaha’ But on a more serious note, that confirmation touched me and lifted my spirit. Basically, God cares about those little things that we take for granted. It is sooooooo amazing to know that He does.
  • Secondly, I chatted with a Pastor friend of mine on July 31st 2016 and he talked about not reading anything about my adventures. I knew that that was God telling me I hadn’t written anything in a while that He wants me to write about, even though I had made the thumbnails for them (covers face). I am sorry. These aren’t necessary my adventures, but the things God talks to me about are of great importance to me. I learn a lot and I always want to share it with people 🙂 So, I can give excuses for why I haven’t written in a while (e.g. law school) but deep down, I know the real reason 🙂 So I am going to try and create the time and write more 🙂

On that note, I pray this helps even if it is just a single person or touches someone, Amen.

Have you ever wondered what it means to wrestle with God? I don’t. My prayers are usually short and straight to the point, except if I am worshipping Him or I am getting ready to fight a war (don’t ask), then I go all out because I want my voice and my words to reach the heaven. But I have never really wrestled with God; stripped of my strength, baring my soul to Him, asking Him to bless me before I let Him go, going all night seeking His face? No, I have never really done that. I recently read a post about Christians being apathetic and it got me thinking, ‘Jacob wrestled with God’…do you have any idea what it means to wrestle with the King of kings and Lord of lords?

Gen 32 portrays how Jacob fought with God. Earlier on, he had been praying to God about meeting his brother Esau, years after cunning him out of his birthright. He prayed and planned on how he was going to meet his brother. Doubt played in his mind as he planned and strategized how he was going to encounter his brother in case his brother hadn’t still forgiven him. In the midst of this doubt, he prayed, telling God what He had promised him and that He said He would deal well with him (verse 9). And then nightfall came, and he separated himself, was left alone and that was when he encountered a Man, and he wrestled him until daybreak. First of all, his former prayers were in the midst of his people, but this prayer, this fight was different. He was alone. He needed no distractions, no worry, he needed to be bare before he encountered the King of Kings; it was between him and ‘this Man’. Secondly, he fought with ‘this Man’ from nightfall till daybreak…do you know what it means for someone to fight from nightfall till daybreak? Jacob was relentless and he must have been really tired.

Then, ‘this Man’ says, ‘Let Me go, for the day breaks’ (verse 26). Now this verse touched me. I have been struggling with waking up and saying Hi to my father in the morning (don’t mind me, I love my sleep). But the prayers you have in the mornings are so important. The prayers you have before the beginning of the day and you are distracted and overcome by what the world requires of us to do.

Psalm 5:3, ‘my voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.

 Proverbs 8: 17, ‘I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me”

But most importantly, it shows that you are willing to meet God at the hour when your body is lethargic, as your spirit is willing. You are creating that time to converse with God. You are ready to set the day before your Father and your Friend. ‘This Man’, recognized that Jacob was about to face the challenges the world had to offer. ‘This Man’, recognized that Jacob was going to be distracted by his wives, maidservants, children and the arrival of his brother. When ‘this Man’ saw that He was not going to prevail against Jacob, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him (Verse 25). But still Jacob persisted…isn’t it weird that ‘this Man’ only touched the hip of Jacob and didn’t punch or twist it…but simply touched it. But Jacob says boldly, ‘I will not let You go unless You bless me” (what audacity? Imagine this puny human, and he gave ‘this Man’ a condition for releasing him, ‘unless You bless me’). But…in the midst of all this, Jacob was determined that he wasn’t going to let go until he was blessed. He didn’t care that he was in excruciating pain, tired from fighting all night. He was not letting go.

‘This Man’ then asks Jacob his name, and changes his name to Israel, from that of the supplanter, the cunning one to one who prevails with God. Meaning of prevail you ask, to defeat an opponent especially in a long or difficult contest. Synonyms – persuade, induce, win someone over, influence, pressure someone into etc. Verse 28, ‘And He said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed” – you have defeated an opponent in this long or difficult contest. You have won me over. ‘This Man’, had no option but to bless Jacob because the day was about to break. They had fought through out the night, Jacob had fought with Him and was not going to let go; Jacob had been overly persistent. Luke 11:5-10 says,

5 And he said unto them, which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; 6 For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? 7 And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. 8 I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. 9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

I love the word, importunity (new word = score). It means a plea that is so persistent or demanding that it becomes annoying. This was Jacob; because of his importunity ‘this Man’ was willing and ready to bless him. Jacob had won God over. And that leads us to the next verse, verse 29 when he asked ‘this Man’ saying “Tell me Your name, I pray.” And ‘this Man’ responds, “Why is it that you ask about My name?” And He blessed him there. Now this question perplexed me; why not just tell Jacob your name? Now you see, when someone keeps asking you for something, you can get annoyed as shown in Luke 11:5-10 above. So this question can be seen as a reproof. However, how about if ‘this Man’ did not want to make it known yet that He was the Son of Man in the flesh because it wasn’t yet His time?

Bear with me, bear with me. I know some of you might be wondering, ‘what is this young woman on about?’ Follow me. Jacob realizes that this is a divine being, but does not call Him Lord. This passage keeps referring to Him as The Man. Why? Abraham was able to recognize that of the three men that came to visit him, the Lord was amongst them, and the other two were angels who then went on to Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18 and 19). In Luke 1:10 -20, it was noted that it was the Angel of the Lord, Angel Gabriel who appeared to Zechariah and made him mute. Even in Judges 13, which talks about the birth of Samson, in verse 6, ‘so the woman came and told her husband saying, ‘a Man of God came to me, and His countenance was like the countenance of the Angel of God, very awesome; but I did not ask Him where He was from and He did not tell me His name.” Samson’s mother, even though she pondered on the name of this being, she knew it was the Angel of God and not God Himself. So why wasn’t ‘this Man; that was before Jacob regarded as ‘Lord’ or ‘an angel’, why ‘this Man?’ How about, if this was an encounter between Jesus the Messiah and Jacob? Genesis 49 talks about Jacob’s, now known as Israel, last words to his sons, and in verse 10 it says,

“The scepter shall not depart from Judah, Nor a lawgiver from between his feet, Until Shiloh comes”

Here, Jacob was prophesying the coming of Jesus, who will be of the lineage of Judah. In addition, Shiloh is sometimes regarded as a prophetic name for the Messiah. So how about if this fight was an encounter between Jacob and the Messiah, Shiloh…Jesus? And finally, Jacob (Israel) knew and understood who ‘this Man’, who this divine being who came to visit him was. Also, in Hosea 12:3-5, it talks about Jacob and his fight with God, and finally in verse 5, it is revealed the name of ‘this Man’,

‘That is, the Lord God of hosts. The Lord is His memorable name.’

(kapush = mind blown)

(Genesis 32:30&31) So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel:[c] “For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.” 31 Just as he crossed over Penuel[d] the sun rose on him, and he limped on his hip.

At this moment, God departed from him. From this moment, Jacob referred to ‘this Man’ as God as realization dawns on him. As he says his last word to his sons later on in the bible, he realizes what part of the trinity this God is. He realized that he had seen the face of God and he was still alive. However, as the sun rose, signalling God’s depart, Jacob limped on his hip. Forever a reminder that he had seen God face to face and survived so as not to boast of his own might, so that in his weakness, God’s strength can be shown, just like Paul (2 Corinthians).

Hmmmmm, wrestling with God. I do not know of any physical wrestle with God in this new day and age (personally, I would be like, ‘God…my Father, nah’). But we can wrestle with God in prayer; persuading him to bless you beyond reasonable doubt (and law school creeps in). Seeking His face from nightfall till daybreak. Stripping yourself bare of all distractions, worry, pain, sorrow. Coming to Him as you are and not letting go. Making it to be that God has to bless you before you let Him go. Submitting every single part of your being to him. Being vulnerable, being bare. Being completely and utterly desperate for His grace, His mercy, His favour. Jacob was a really cunning man; he got a birthright that wasn’t his. But God still poured His favour on him. Jacob had sought after God with every fibre of his being (literally). God could have simply said a word, and Jacob would have been obliterated, as all He had to do was touch, not punch or hit, Jacob’s hip socket to dislocate it. God had to tell Jacob to let Him go. Do you know what it means for the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, to tell a puny human to let Him go? Sometimes we are so caught up in the world; caught up in what it tells us we are not, caught up in what it tells us that we cannot do, caught up in it telling us that God does not love us, that we forget who we truly are. God made us in His own image and likeness (Genesis 1:27), God wants to communicate with us and have a relationship with us, just like a father has with his son, just like a friend has with a friend. If we weren’t made in His own image and likeness, do you think Jacob would have been able to wrestle with God? God wants more from us than mere apathetic, timid lives. God wants us to wrestle with Him in what we want according to His will. God wants us to face the world head on with courage that surpasses all human understanding. God wants us to be bold. After wrestling with God, do you think Jacob would have been scared or frightened of anything that came his way? He said ‘For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.” (Genesis 32:30).

It is time that we as Christians stop living apathetic lives in our Christian walk. It is time we get bold and not pray mere lazy prayers stating that God knows what I want, He will bless me. Of course He does, He is God. But He doesn’t want you to be lazy. He wants to converse with you. He wants to see some fire in your belly. It is time to be bold like Jacob. It is time that God sees that yearning, that longing, that need, that courage to get in the same ring with Him and say, ‘Lord, I am not leaving until you bless me. I am not leaving until You heal my land. I am not leaving until You grant me peace. I am not leaving until You grant Christians of the world courage to face what is coming. Lord…I am not leaving because I have a desperate longing and yearning for You. I know that I might leave with battle scars, but I know that in my weakness, there will You show Your strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-11).’ As Christians, it is time to show the world what we are truly made of, in boldness that can only be gotten from the Lord. Amen.

As usual, I hope this touches someone’s spirit, and remember, that no matter what you are going through, God truly and really loves you ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ 🙂 Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. Kisses and hugs 🙂

Why, God?


This is a HUUUUGGGEE topic, but I am going to try and simplify it as best as I can, or at least portray my own understanding and I hope it does help someone, Amen 🙂

We question God a lot don’t we? God why am I the way I am? God why did you create the world if you know the end from the beginning? Lord if you knew Eve was going to sin, why did you allow her to sin and allow the world to fall into turmoil? Lord, why do you choose to talk to him and not me? Lord why this? Lord why that? And the most asked question of all, “Lord, if you are the loving Saviour of the world, why do you allow good people to die?” or “Why would a loving God send people to hell?” Then I see people stating that no, they have too many unanswered questions so it is hard to believe in this God, whom in their own opinion refuses to answer their questions or allows all the bad things to happen.

Firstly, I am not going to answer these questions individually. That’s what your Bible is for, that is what your personal relationship with the Holy Spirit is for. However, I will say this…God is God (Deutronomy 10:17). Sometimes as human beings we fail to realize the power and largeness (for lack of a better word) of this Being and we try to fit Him into this box, simply because we want to understand Him. He said, “your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways” (Isaiah 55:8). He spoke everything into being (Psalm 33:9). He is indescribable, incomparable etc. Very simple – He is God. As soon as you start to understand this concept, all the jigsaw pieces of your walk with God will begin to fall into place for it is written, ‘the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom’ (Proverbs 9:10).

Secondly, do not blame God for people’s actions or for your actions. Your actions determine its consequences; also people’s actions determine their consequences. In addition, we have the gift of free will; you have a choice. Do peoples’ choices and actions affect others? Yes, definitely they do. However, for this God is not to blame. People are to blame. People are killing, stealing, raping etc., and as sad as these may all sound, God is not to blame. It is easy to blame God and think that if God was truly God, He should have stopped this from happening or should have allowed that to happen…have y’all watched Bruce Almighty? The final part where he just began answering everyone’s prayers? Remember the calamity that resulted from Bruce saying yes to everyone’s prayer? Now just imagine if God did that? What am I trying to say? There is always a bigger picture to everything that goes on in our lives that God is privy to. We should learn to trust Him.

Thirdly and most importantly, you need to know God on a personal level to acquire understanding. Teachers can teach you and preachers can preach to you, but you need to draw from the source. I had a very interesting discussion the other day with an acquaintance and he had all these questions, and at every point I kept praying in my heart, ‘God I don’t know what to say. All I know is that I hope I sow a seed.’ This acquaintance goes on to say that there are different bibles in the world, and some, like the Catholic bible have more books than the Protestant bible and he went on and on. My head was buzzing with what to say, and my spirit told me to tell him, ‘you need to know God on a personal level’. And that is the simple truth. We live in a world today where we are bombarded with so much information that question our faith; science, evolution, multiple religions etc. Where does it all fit in? If there is one God, why so much confusion? And that’s the thing, you need to draw nearer to God and He will draw closer to you (James 4:8) and give you understanding. He sent His only son to die on the cross for you, He wants to know you on a deeper and more personal level, He wants to speak to your spirit. Revelation 3:20 says, “Behold, I stand at the door and continually knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with Me.” Do you know what it means to have a meal with God? Basically it is just the two of you and you are getting to know Him and Him you one on one. Now that, that is one of the ways you will find all the understanding that you need because God will speak to you and with you (Proverbs 4:7). The question now is, are you listening for and to His voice.

Fourthly, you need to come to God like a child – I remember when my baby brother was younger. He was quite a handful. But anytime there was a full moon and we were out of the house, he always quieted down. We went out one night and he looked up and saw the moon. He wondered why it followed us wherever we went. Being cheeky siblings, we told him it was God looking down on us and He could see all the silly things he did. Ever since that day, my brother was like a little lamb come nighttime, until he grew up (hahahahaha). We simply told our brother that God was the moon looking down on humanity and he believed, no questions asked. He simply believed. I guess that is why God said in His word that we should come to Him like little children (Matthew 18:3).

Now am I saying you should take everything you are being taught about humanity, religion and Christianity hook, line and sinker? No. In fact you asking questions (in my opinion…sometimes) shows a yearning to simply understand and that is where the Holy Spirit comes in. You should ask Him to help you understand, which is one of His purposes because He is our helper. Believe me I ask a ton of questions as I don’t want to be a Christian because of my upbringing or to satisfy my parents. I want to have a personal relationship with Jesus, so I talk with Him as much as I can and I ask questions and He answers. Sometimes, He wants me to draw a lesson from a situation and other times He simply talks to me. Why? Because He is my Dad, and that is the kind of relationship God wants with you too.

I know I said I wasn’t going to answer any question individually…but it has been placed in my heart to answer one, ‘why does God allow good people to die?’ Isaiah Chapters 38 and 39 recounts the story of King Hezekiah. King Hezekiah was a great King who fell ill and was told by the Lord through Isaiah, a prophet, that he should set his house in order because he was not going to recover. King Hezekiah prayed to God and God upon hearing his prayer granted him 15 more years. People heard of this divine healing and amongst them was Merodach – baladan, the son of Baladan, the King of Babylon. He sent envoys and gifts to Hezekiah of which Hezekiah welcomed gladly. However, in his pride, Hezekiah showed them his treasure house, his whole armory and all that was found in his warehouses. He had shown another country all that he had. Isaiah then told Hezekiah on the Lord’s behalf that a day would come when everything that he had, everything that his ancestors had worked for would be carried to Babylon. Nothing shall be left. Isaiah also prophesied that some of Hezekiah’s own sons shall be taken away, and they shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon. Do you know what Hezekiah said in response? “The word of the Lord that you have spoken is good.” For he thought, “There will be peace and security in my days.”

Even 2 Chronicles 32: 24 – 26 states how, ‘in those days, Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death, and he prayed to the Lord, and He answered him and gave him a sign. 25But Hezekiah did not make return according to the benefit done to him, for his heart was proud. Therefore wrath came upon him and Judah and Jerusalem.’

King Hezekiah was a good King, but he went against God’s perfect will and sought after God’s permissible will by asking God for more years to live. Although it was granted, King Hezekiah brought wrath upon his sons and upon his house. Due to his pride he showed Babylon all that he had and they later on came and took every single thing. Now if he had allowed God’s perfect will to happen, do you think any of this would have happened?

Last but definitely not the least, how about if we switched up our questions a little bit. Instead of asking God judgmental questions, why not ask Him questions like, “God, why do You choose to have mercy on me? Why did You choose to send your Son to a World You knew would still hurt and disobey You? Why do You still continually forgive us? Why do You choose to pour your grace and mercy on us? Why do you continually choose to love a sinner like me? Now you see…if we choose to change the way we ask our questions, we can acquire an understanding of why God chooses to do what He does or allows certain things to happen. For instance, this bunch of good people died…maybe God wanted them in Heaven because He knew they might do something that would prevent them from coming to heaven or something that might have a negative effect on their family and generations (King Hezekiah). The rapist, maybe he is still alive because God wants Him to repent and seek His face. The preacher that was born with no limbs, maybe God knew that he would be a source of enormous encouragement to millions all over the world J Or more importantly, ‘Jesus, if you are the Son of God, why don’t You come down from the cross (Matthew 27:40), why would You put yourself through all this pain and suffering when you can just think it and you will be back home in heaven?’” But He didn’t because He had to die to atone for our sins.

Why, God? 🙂 I know it is easy to question an all mighty Being as to why He allows some things to happen. I know it is easy to pour blame. I also know there are soooooo many questions that cannot be easily answered. Believe me, I know. But I promise you that with God in your life, He speaks to your spirit. He answers your questions and He gives you peace 🙂 I hope this helps somebody and touches somebody’s heart. And I hope at least this answered a few of your questions. As usual, take care, remain blessed and always remember that God loves you very very much (kisses and hugs). ❤ ❤ ❤ 🙂 🙂 🙂

Lord…I am a virgin, I am celibate, why am I still single?


1Corinthians 6:15-20 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written,  “The two will become one flesh.”  But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.  Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.  Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?  You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.  So glorify God in your body.

A friend of mine and I were talking a while ago and we talked about how it wasn’t fair a girl…or guy would decide to keep themselves (be virgins or remain celibate) and no one would want to date them. They are usually regarded as uptight, not fun, and all kinds of other stuff. Instead, it is supposedly those that do not keep themselves that are constantly asked out or get married early…and to good husbands or wives. ‘Lord, I have decided to keep myself, why am I still single? Why did he or she give up on me? I thought if I kept myself I would have gotten a good husband or wife by now, why am I still single? Why are You allowing these people make fun of me?’ etc.

In this day and age, there is a lot of judgment surrounding the word ‘virginity’ or even being celibate. Why on earth would you want to remain either of these two things in the world we live in where sex is predominantly our way of life? Sex is both an overrated and underrated act; you are angry, have sex. You are hungry, have sex. You are stressed, have sex. Sex, which is meant to be a sacred act created by God that increases the bond between husband and wife, has become a meaningless basic human animalistic instinct…so why on earth would you be a virgin or choose to be celibate?

Now you see, if you think being celibate or being a virgin will guarantee you a good spouse, you are being either of the two for the wrong reasons. You are basically missing the point of why you would choose to keep yourself. You are keeping yourself because your body is a temple of God and not because you want something from God. You are keeping yourself because you were bought with a price as a believer of Jesus Christ. You are keeping yourself because God is protecting you from diseases, heartbreak, unnecessary spiritual connection etc  and doesn’t want you to sin against your own body. Most importantly, you are keeping yourself because You. Love. God. ❤ You love Him and you want to honour Him.

Now, is a good spouse a by – product of obeying God and listening to His Word? Definitely. But you need to listen and obey Him to avoid making mistakes. Being a virgin or becoming celibate teaches you patience, self – discipline but most importantly, it teaches you to trust in God and wait on His timing. It makes you to be able to discern someone’s spirit and know his or her true intentions for you. As long as you listen to the Holy Spirit. Because from my discussions with people, it seemed that because you are a virgin or you chose to remain celibate, you would automatically get a good husband…No. There is a lot more to it than that. Or because you see someone else sleeping around you are truly surprised that that person is married and his or her spouse is amazing and you ask yourself, but why? It is like asking God, ‘Lord, why does it rain on both the sinners and the saved? Why does the sun shine on both the sinners and the saved?

Let me paint you a picture; Rahab was a prostitute (Joshua 2:1) and Mary was a virgin (Matthew 1:18). Both are in the lineage of Jesus Christ (Mathew 1:5-17). Rahab was looked upon with mercy because she trusted God and honestly, God chooses on whom He desires to have mercy on (Romans 9:15&18) Why? Because He is God and this is where His awesome grace always kicks in. But you know the difference? Rahab was an ancestor and Mary was Jesus’s mother; Rahab didn’t even know she was going to be an ancestor to the One who would save the World, but Mary not only knew, but was also alive to witness it all. It is like the story of the Prodigal Son where his father told him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But it was fitting to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was (as good as) dead and has begun to live. He was lost and has been found.’ (Luke 15:11-32), now this story is a good depiction of the love and grace that God continually showers on us. But there is always a reward for those who love and obey Him. Nevertheless, He still chooses on whom He wants to have mercy on, why? Because He is God.


Is it hard? YES (:D) very very hard. You meet this cute guy or girl, and you are thinking, ‘Lord Jesus, take the wheel.’ Because you really really like this person, and you are hoping in your heart that they will meet your standards…and then they don’t. In that second, the thoughts that come into your head, the sadness, the questions: ‘Lord, should I give in? I know You will forgive me…should I?’ Because at that point, your flesh…and heart are both screaming. I saw the above a while back and I simply thought, ‘No’. Being a virgin or choosing to remain celibate is HARD WORK. Please do not let anyone deceive you, it is DEFINITELY (yes, at this point, a caps lock is appropriate, because trust me it isn’t a lack of opportunity) not a lack of opportunity and it takes a lot of courage and dignity to look anyone in the eye and say, ‘yes I am different from the world…and I am proud.’

So 🙂 if you are a virgin or celibate…know the real reasons why you are. Don’t do it because you think it will guarantee a good spouse. And grow a tougher skin…because in its own small way, it is a form of persecution for your believes and your faith in Jesus Christ, because no one can ever understand why in this day and age you would choose to remain a virgin or be celibate :).

As usual, I hope this helps or touches somebody 🙂 Take care and always remember God loves you very very much (hugs and kisses) 🙂 🙂

A Letter To My Future Husband


This letter could have been written in so many ways. It could have been all romantic and say how I can’t wait to meet you and how I can’t wait to be in love with you and spend the rest of my life with you, and all that jazz. But I decided to be honest and blunt with you. I am scared. What a way to begin a letter right? But it is the truth. I am scared because…of the high level of divorce rates. I am scared because according to the world’s standards of falling in love, you can fall out of love. I am scared because…marriage is hard work. But most people just want the ring and they get ready for the wedding day, but not the marriage itself.

You see, I am Nigerian. I do not know what culture, race or nationality you will be. But in my country and in my culture, getting married is a huge deal. You should preferably get married before a certain age and start your family. And the wedding day is a sight for sore eyes; the colours, the people, the music, the clothes and the food (most importantly, the food). It is all so very beautiful. But after that, what then? You are stuck with someone for the rest of your life. Sorry for the use of the word, ‘stuck’ but it is the truth. But I don’t want to just be stuck with you for the rest of my life. I want to love and be in love with you from our first day together till the end of our lives.

So I make these promises to you. I promise to love you as best as I can and choose to love you everyday of my life. I promise to treat you as my God – given King of my heart and of my home. And I promise to get ready for this journey called marriage. I promise to be submissive and to take as you as the leader. I promise to pray for you, and to support you. I promise to respect you and I promise to be your partner in crime. I know it won’t be easy, but I promise to be with you every step of the way and to do my part as God leads me. I also know it is easy to make all these promises…but know that I will try my best.

So yea…maybe I can be mushy just a tiny bit 😛 I truly cannot wait to meet you and be with you for the rest of our lives :). See you soon.

Yours Truly,

❤ ❤ ❤

Nhappily Natural